How long does love last in a relationship after all?
At the beginning of a new relationship, you may feel like butterflies in the stomach and the happiest person on earth. But how long does love really last and when does it turn into love? When do we realize that we are really in love and how long does it take for the “fatal” to happen?
How long does it take to fall in love?
According to research, men need an average of 88 days (about three months) to declare love, while women need an average of 134 days (four and a half months). The same survey also notes that 39% of men say “I love you” within a month of having a relationship with someone. The corresponding percentage for women reaches only 23%.
Another study, which looked at small groups of undergraduate students, found similar results. Average:
- Men are thinking of confessing their love for 97 days (just over three months) in a new relationship.
- Women are thinking of confessing their love for 149 days (about five months) in a new relationship.
- Men believe that it is acceptable to feel love after a month in a relationship.
- Women believe that it is acceptable to feel love after six months in a relationship.
However, experts point out that everyone need their own time. Some people wait a long time to say “I love you“, while others swear that they have experienced thunderous love. As with most things in life, so in love, everything depends on the individual and the circumstances.
Example: A survey of 1,000 British men and women found that while more than half of participants took more than three months to say “I love you“, 32% of women and 29% of men say in a period of 1 to 3 months. At the same time, 10% of women and 14% of men say “I love you” in just one to four weeks.
Is there love at first sight?
A survey found that 72% of men and 61% of women believe in love at first sight, and another study found that about one-third of Americans say they have experienced it personally.
There is scientific evidence to support this idea: Some research shows that people can decide in a matter of seconds whether they are romantically interested in someone, and neurologically speaking, it only takes 1/5 of a second to trigger the neurochemical reaction associated with emotions. of love.
Other studies, however, reject the theory of “thunderous love“. A study orchestrated a series of first encounters between unmarried strangers. Researchers have found that feelings of instant attraction can actually occur in a first encounter. Some people have described these feelings as “love at first sight“.
However, these people did not report feelings of intimacy, passion, or commitment as part of their experience. The main predictor of a “love at first sight” experience was finding the other person physically attractive.
In other words, romantic love usually can not happen at first glance. There may be a strong attraction at first glance, but romantic love for someone requires the fullness of their character.
There are three stages in the development of romantic love:
- Lust: Intense physical and sexual attraction
- Attraction: Intense attraction for someone, you think about it constantly, you want to be close to him all the time and you feel a mixture of electricity and nervousness when you are together.
- Attachment: You feel safe and close to your partner, with feelings of deep affection, trust, and satisfaction.
Love can be considered to combine all three elements.
Signs that you are really in love:
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- You feel connected to this person.
- There is so much more than physical attraction – there is an emotional attachment.
- You do not feel nervous but a warm, steady satisfaction when you are with this person.
- You pay attention to their needs and try to cover them. You just want them to be happy
- You sincerely care about this person’s well-being – whether or not you stay together
- You will make every effort to take care of this person and you will avoid hurting him
- You feel alive, full and yourself when you are with this person
- You want to know more about the other
- You want to be a better version of yourself
- You may be considering a future or long-term commitment with this person
- You are not worried about the dangers of deepening your relationship with this person
- To say that you “like” is just not enough
Love and natural attraction – Can you make someone fall in love with you?
Obviously in love there is no recipe for success. Love is blind and most of the time unexpected and unexpected. However, the emotional availability and how “open” a person can be in love, is of particular importance in the development of any love affair.
Do not push it
You can not really force someone to fall in love with you and it is important not to put pressure on the other person to get there before he is ready. Trying to make love can make the whole process “fake” and unsustainable. Stress can also be seen as betrayal, when a person feels that his love is due as a reward for his behavior.
Do not be afraid to become vulnerable
Part of falling in love is being able to share truly personal parts of yourself with someone. To be able to be honest with your feelings, fears and your real self and communicate them to the other.
In “36 Questions to Fall in Love”, a research-based experiment that many couples say helped them develop feelings of intimacy, researchers found that vulnerability is the key to building relationships.
Developing the emotional relationship
Sharing an emotional connection with someone means that you can communicate together on a deeper level, beyond fun, physical attraction or spiritual similarities. Being emotionally connected means being able to rely on each other, feel visible to each other, and share feelings of romantic attachment. Although you can not make someone fall in love with you, you can find ways to deepen your relationship as a couple.
The conclusion
Falling in love is something that people often say they can feel right away, while others describe it as an achievement. The time it takes to fall in love varies depending on the person and the relationship in which he is. There is no real way to speed up the process and make someone fall in love. However, there are many ways to cultivate a relationship in which it can manifest more easily.